


Dear Diary

by grossalien



Category: South Park
Genre: Alcohol, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27029509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grossalien/pseuds/grossalien
Summary: Excerpts of Butters' diary during middle school.
Relationships: Eric Cartman/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	Dear Diary

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a gift for my girlfriend @shouriii for our 2nd anniversary, be sure to check her out if you love Buttman!

08/20  
Today was a good day! School was fun and I got invited to a sleepover at Stan’s! Though, it wasn't Stan who invited me, it was Kenny. But that’s okay, ‘cause Kenny is a cool guy! I hope it’s fun :D

08/22  
Just got back from Stan’s! It was fun, we played with his playstation and ordered pizza. Then we watched a horror movie. Eric kept clinging to me so I asked him if he was scared and he got mad...He didn’t let go of my arm, though. Kyle was giving me a dirty look. I don’t know why but I think Kyle doesn’t like me that much :(

08/27  
Not a lot happened this week but Eric said Bebe is throwing a party and we should totally go. I don’t think it’s right, though....I didn’t get invited and when I asked if he did he told me to shut up :O

08/28  
At the end Eric convinced me to Bebe’s party. We sneaked through her backyard and she got so pissed when she saw us!! Eric’s right, she’s kind of a bitch. But she’s pretty hot....  
There was a lot of alcohol...Eric served us some but then he disappeared so I had to finish both cups ‘cause my parents told me food should never be wasted! I’m not sure if alcohol counts as food. Anyway I was feeling really funky afterwards!! I felt like I could talk to anyone!! So I did!! And then I walked into Bebe’s room and Eric and Kyle were there? I think they were fighting ‘cause as soon as I opened the door Kyle pushed him away. Later everyone was playing truth or dare and I joined. And I got truth! Annie asked if there was a girl I liked. I told her no. Some guy said what about a boy and everyone laughed. I said I didn’t think so and they all looked at me weirdly...I was really confused. I’m getting sleepy so I’ll finish here, goodnight diary! Zzz

08/31  
Everyone has been saying I’m gay ‘cause of the party. I don’t really care but I never said I was gay? Stan and everyone treat me the same, though. There’s nothing wrong with being gay but I don’t think I am. I like girls. But girls can be pretty shitty sometimes, can they?

09/03  
Eric came over while I was doing homework to ask if I was really, really gay and I said I didn’t know. He frowned at me and he looked like he wanted to say something but he just left instead. I looked up ‘how to know if you’re gay’ on google and I got a bunch of tests and articles. I’m even more confused now, maybe I should just ask Tweek and Craig?

09/04  
Today I asked Tweek how did he knew he was gay and he got stressed and yelled ‘it just happened!!’ and when I asked Craig he just shrugged. Are all gay people like this? I’m so confused, diary

09/06  
I read more stuff online and turns out gay people are just like everyone else. So anyone can be gay. So maybe I’m gay? But I don’t like any boys…

09/10  
Not a lot happened today. We had p.e. and it was tiresome! When we all went to the lockers to get changed I noticed Eric’s boobs are really big for a boy’s. I’m pretty sure Wendy’s boobs aren’t that big. I told him he should wear a bra and everyone laughed. I wasn’t joking though??

09/12  
Yesterday was my birthday!! I don’t know how but the guys actually remembered!! They’ve never remembered before, Kenny even gave me some candy. He’s such a good fella. Eric told me to come over after school. I said okay ‘cause it’s not like my parents even knew it was my birthday today. When we got there, Eric’s mom had brought KFC! She’s so nice...Eric is really lucky to have her! We ate the entire bucket of chicken and then we played Call of Duty! Eric laughed everytime he killed me. I don’t think I had noticed before but Eric can be really cute when he’s having fun...He has a nice smile! After, he showed me the karaoke machine he had just bought so we sang a lot! He’s such a good singer but I’m not so bad myself! I think we were a good duo! It got late so Eric said I should stay for the night and when I called my mom she said it was okay. Eric lent me some old clothes so I could wear them as pajamas. They were too big for me but they smelled like him. It was a nice smell, fruity and fresh. Eric smells nice. When he left the shower his hair was ruffled and it looked pretty cute. I couldn’t help but touch it. Eric raised an eyebrow so I apologized but he said it was okay. I was really tired so I fell asleep almost immediately. When I woke up I was hugging Eric! I don’t think he noticed or else he would’ve yelled at me. I got dressed and went downstairs and his mom had made pancakes! They were so good! I left before Eric woke up but I wrote him a note thanking him :) This was my favorite birthday ever

09/13  
My parents grounded me for not telling them about my birthday :( They said I made them look bad to Eric and his mom...so my mom baked a cake for them and told me to leave it at their house and then come back immediately. Eric’s mom opened the door and invited in, and I couldn’t say no so I went to Eric’s room and tried to open the door but it was locked. I was surprised ‘cause it’s never locked! I knocked and told him it was me. After a few seconds he opened the door. His face was red and his pants were backwards? He asked me what I wanted and I said I just wanted to say hi and he closed the door on me...I guess he wasn’t having a good day? Poor Eric..

09/15  
During lunch Eric dragged me to the school yard to ask for my help. I asked him how and he told me to follow his lead. We sat there in silence. I was confused and hungry ‘cause I didn’t even get to finish my food. When the boys started coming out, he held my hand without saying anything. I don’t think I noticed before but his hand is so warm...He smiled at me and my heart started beating super fast! It’s weird ‘cause it’s not like it’s the first time he smiles at me. But I guess it was different this time. It was a warm smile, just like his hand. It was nice...

09/16  
I had a dream Eric and I were holding hands in a park. We were just talking. And he looked so cute so I kissed his cheek and then I said sorry! But he wasn’t mad. He just laughed so I laughed too. When I woke up I was sad it wasn’t real :(

Then when I was going to school I saw Eric walking on the block ahead of me so I wanted to say hi but I saw Kyle was there too. They seemed to be arguing. Kyle looked really mad...The rest of the day they avoided each other...Wonder what happened…:0

09/17  
Today at p.e. I ended staring at Eric’s boobs again when he was getting changed and Clyde noticed so he said I was acting like a homo. Stan told him to stop being a dick. Stan’s a really good friend...But the worst part was that my wiener got excited! And I think Kyle noticed ‘cause he was frowning at me but he didn’t say anything...I had to put my jacket over my crotch so nobody else saw it :| When I got home I took care of it...nothing really worked until I thought of Eric’s boobs...Oh boy, I think Clyde is right D:

09/20  
Ever since the p.e. incident my weiner has been acting real funny everytime I think about Eric. I had to lock my room ‘cause it kept happening and I had to deal with it and I didn’t want my parents to see that! I think I stained some sheets...I told Mom I would clean them myself and she accepted...they don’t suspect a thing and that’s great ‘cause if Dad finds out he’s gonna want to send me to that camp again...oh hamburgers…

09/21  
Today Eric was sick. Well he didn’t seem sick but he was wearing a scarf and last time he did that he had aids...He was pretty chipper so I mustn't be anything serious. Also the teacher said p.e. was moved to tomorrow. I already packed my sweatpants and shirt :)

09/22  
Today, after p.e., I tried not to look at Eric while he was getting changed but then his scarf fell off so I picked it back up for him and I noticed he had a mark on his neck. He snatched the scarf from my hand without saying anything. When I turned I saw Kyle was smiling so I smiled back! I think he likes me! I really wonder what was that thing on Eric’s neck though? Reminded me of that time I tried to suck his blood when I was a vampire…

09/25  
For the past days Eric and Kyle have disappeared at lunch. When I asked Stan about it but he just shrugged and rolled his eyes and said ‘Who cares’. Kyle was already in his seat when we arrived to class...and then Eric arrived when the teacher was already taking the roll call. His fly was open and everyone laughed about that...I thought he must’ve left the toilet in a hurry…  
I got an A in algebra! Dad was happy about it...though he said I’m still grounded...so I asked if at least for the rest of the evening I could go out and play with Eric. He thought about it for a moment and agreed ‘cause of my grade but warned me that if I wasn’t home by 8 I would be grounded for another week. I accepted and went to Eric’s. His mom told me he wasn’t home yet which was weird since we’re in the same class?? She told me I could wait in his room so I went upstairs and sat in his bed. It smelled good so I grabbed Eric’s pillow and sniffed it. I wondered if that’s how Eric’s head smelled like...When I looked down, my wiener was hard again. I got nervous ‘cause Eric could arrive anytime so I ran to the bathroom to take care of it! I took the pillow too to make it quicker. I felt bad but I couldn’t help it. I really didn’t want Eric to find out about my wiener! When I was done, I opened the bathroom and heard some noise in his room. I peaked in but before I could say hello I saw...Eric and Kyle kissing in his bed...I was shocked but I didn’t want them to see me so I ran away! I accidentally took the pillow too. I cried when I got home...I’m still sad...I guess I really like Eric...and he likes Kyle...and Kyle likes him…

09/26  
Eric texted me a lot today but I didn’t answer. I didn’t feel like it. I don’t really want to talk to him right now. I know it’s not his fault but I don’t wanna think of him! >:(

09/27  
Eric came over last night...Well, he sneaked through my window, waking me up and asking why I was ignoring him. I said I wasn’t and he said I didn’t reply to any of his texts so I told him I was studying. I wasn’t studying though I was crying but I couldn’t say that!! And then he said his mom told him I went over before he arrived but he never saw me...I didn’t say anything but he saw his pillow. He was mad. I told him it was an accident but he didn’t believe me. Eventually I had to confess I saw him with Kyle. I promised I wasn’t gonna tell anyone. I didn’t tell him about my feelings tho...He was quiet...I thought he would threaten but he just grabbed his pillow and left...

09/30  
Eric has been avoiding me which makes me sad but on the other hand he seems really happy. I guess it is thanks to Kyle and that’s a good thing! I just hope we can talk again...I’m still a bit sad...

10/02  
I’ve made up my mind! I can’t keep moping so I went to Eric and I told him I would cheer him on! He looked confused at first but then he said I was a good friend. He seemed honest. Then he patted me in the shoulder before leaving. That made me happy. I guess love is not always about having your feelings returned but supporting the people you love...And that’s not so bad! If he’s happy then I’m happy :)


End file.
